The silent struggle: Men and emotional expression

Emotions are a vital aspect of human experience, shaping our thoughts, behaviours, and relationships. Yet many men find themselves in a silent struggle when it comes to expressing how they feel. Societal expectations, cultural stereotypes, and internalised beliefs often create significant barriers. This article explores the complexities surrounding men’s emotional expression, the challenges they face, and evidence-informed strategies to support healthier communication.

Societal Expectations of Masculinity

For generations, boys have been socialised to suppress emotions such as sadness, fear, and vulnerability. Phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry” reinforce the notion that emotional expression is incompatible with masculinity (Seidler et al., 2016). This cultural conditioning contributes to a reluctance among men to seek help, with only 36% of UK men accessing mental health support compared to 51% of women (Mental Health Foundation, 2023). Such norms not only perpetuate stigma but also contribute to a public health concern. Emotional suppression has been linked to increased psychological distress, substance misuse, and suicide risk (Mahalik et al., 2003).

The Impact of Emotional Suppression

Suppressing emotions can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and physical health issues. Research suggests that men are more likely to externalise distress through anger or withdrawal, which can strain relationships and deepen isolation (Levant et al., 2009). Unprocessed emotions often manifest in maladaptive behaviours, reinforcing the cycle of silence and shame. Understanding this dynamic is essential for practitioners, educators, and communities seeking to support men’s wellbeing.

The Role of Language in Emotional Expression

Language is central to emotional literacy. Many men possess a limited emotional vocabulary, often defaulting to broad categories such as “angry” or “fine.” This lack of nuance can hinder meaningful communication and emotional regulation (Greenberg, 2016). Expanding emotional vocabulary through psychoeducation and reflective practice enables men to articulate complex feelings, fostering deeper relational connections and psychological resilience.

Breaking Down Barriers: Strategies for Change

Supporting men to express emotions requires intentional, culturally sensitive approaches. Key strategies include:

Creating Safe Spaces

Therapeutic environments, peer-led groups, and informal gatherings can offer non-judgemental spaces for emotional exploration. Initiatives like Men’s Sheds in the UK and Australia have demonstrated success in reducing isolation and promoting wellbeing (Golding, 2015).

Redefining Masculinity

Challenging rigid gender norms and promoting vulnerability as strength can reshape cultural narratives. Positive male role models—whether in media, community, or therapy—play a vital role in modelling emotional openness.

Encouraging Emotional Literacy

Social-emotional learning (SEL) programmes in schools have shown a 10–15% increase in emotional intelligence among boys (Durlak et al., 2011). Such interventions prepare young men to recognise, label, and express emotions constructively.

The Importance of Support Networks

Supportive relationships are crucial for emotional wellbeing. Friends, family, and professionals can help normalise emotional expression and reduce stigma.

• Friends & Family: Regular check-ins and emotionally honest conversations foster trust and openness.

• Professional Support: Counsellors and therapists trained in trauma-informed, gender-sensitive approaches can help men navigate emotional complexity. Studies show that 75% of men report improved wellbeing after engaging with mental health professionals (NHS Digital, 2022).

Pop Culture & Creative Expression

Media and the arts shape societal attitudes toward masculinity. Films, music, and literature that portray emotionally expressive male characters challenge stereotypes and offer alternative narratives.

Creative outlets—such as journaling, painting, or music—provide powerful tools for emotional processing. Art therapy and expressive arts programmes have been shown to reduce psychological distress and enhance emotional regulation in men (Haeyen et al., 2018).

The Road to Acceptance

Understanding the silent struggle is only the beginning. The journey toward emotional acceptance involves recognising feelings, building safe environments, and challenging cultural norms.

By fostering emotional literacy, promoting vulnerability, and creating spaces for authentic connection, we can support men to thrive—emotionally, relationally, and psychologically.

Practical Tips for Encouraging Emotional Expression

• Start Small: Begin with lighter emotions and build trust gradually.

• Practise Active Listening: Listen without judgement or immediate solutions.

• Normalise Mental Health Conversations: Integrate emotional check-ins into daily life.

• Encourage Creative Expression: Support journaling, music, or visual arts as emotional outlets.

References (Harvard Style)

• Durlak, J.A., Weissberg, R.P., Dymnicki, A.B., Taylor, R.D. & Schellinger, K.B. (2011) ‘The impact of enhancing students’ social and emotional learning: A meta‐analysis of school‐based universal interventions’, Child Development, 82(1), pp. 405–432.

• Golding, B. (2015) The Men’s Shed Movement: The Company of Men. Champaign, IL: Common Ground Publishing.

• Greenberg, L.S. (2016) Emotion-Focused Therapy: Coaching Clients to Work Through Their Feelings. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

• Haeyen, S., van Hooren, S., van der Veld, W. & Hutschemaekers, G. (2018) ‘Promoting mental health versus reducing mental illness in art therapy with adults diagnosed with personality disorders: A randomised controlled trial’, Arts in Psychotherapy, 58, pp. 11–16.

• Levant, R.F., Hall, R.J., Williams, C.M. & Hasan, N.T. (2009) ‘Gender differences in alexithymia’, Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 10(3), pp. 190–203.

• Mahalik, J.R., Burns, S.M. & Syzdek, M. (2003) ‘Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men's health behaviors’, Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), pp. 2201–2209.

• Mental Health Foundation (2023) Men and Mental Health. Available from

• NHS Digital (2022) Mental Health of Adults Survey. Available from

• Seidler, Z.E., Dawes, A.J., Rice, S.M., Oliffe, J.L. & Dhillon, H.M. (2016) ‘The role of masculinity in men's help-seeking for depression: A systematic review’, Clinical Psychology Review, 49, pp. 106–118.